I travel a lot, which means I have spent a lot of time on airplanes.  As one of the few people who actually listen to the safety briefing, I started thinking about how one particular part applies to what I have been teaching in my workshops.  “Be sure to secure your mask before assisting others.”  It’s a simple concept, and very easy to understand and accept. Because we know that if the plane loses cabin pressure, oxygen becomes scarce, and we will need another source to avoid passing out, thus the mask.  We accept the fact that if we try to put someone else’s mask on before ours, there is a good chance we will lose consciousness before we get it on them, and both of us suffer.  However, by taking care of our own mask first, we are able to help everyone around us.  So it is with your calling. But why is this such an easy concept to accept with oxygen masks, but not our daily life? After all, the same principles apply.

Many of us spend a lot of time worrying about fitting in with the expectations of others, or we’re concerned that at the very least, those most important to us won’t understand the new direction that we want to follow. Maybe it’s because many of us were raised to think of others before ourselves. This in and of itself is good advice, however, the best way to ensure we can think of others is to first take care of ourselves. But it’s almost as if we feel we need someone’s permission to do this. Think again about the oxygen masks. The fact that the flight attendants have to remind us to take care of our own mask before assisting others is very telling. Most of us probably have the initial idea that the more noble or righteous thing to do is to help others before helping ourselves, which is why they remind us each time. 

Think of it this way. Let’s say that you feel your calling is to be an artist. You want to express your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and concerns in that way in order to teach, instruct, confront, remind or maybe just to provide an escape for your audience. Let’s then say that you decide following your calling is selfish. After all, you have responsibilities to your family, and others who count on you. So you choose to ignore it. You go on with your life, fitting into the mold that someone else has created for you, all the while feeling miserable or at the very least unfulfilled, always wondering what could have been. As a result of you not following your calling, not only are you miserable, but you have also denied the inspiration, encouragement, information, etc that you should have been providing, had you followed your heart. Our calling is what makes us the best we can be, so that we can have the largest most positive impact on the world around us. Now ask yourself.  Wouldn’t you be of more help to those around you by breaking out of the path of others so that you can pursue your true calling?  Don’t you provide a better example to your family, friends and children by living life to the fullest and pressing on toward your goals, even when it’s difficult?

 If you deny your true self, and put off following your calling or purpose, if you choose to continue to put everyone else’s happiness before yours, if you put off what has been placed in your heart, then you are no different than the person who tries to put everyone else’s mask on before their own.  You won’t be any good to anyone, including yourself.  Your calling, purpose or passion has been placed on your heart and in your mind for a reason.  You were meant to follow it.  The longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes, and the less good you can do for the people around you.  It isn’t selfish to follow your calling.  It’s selfish to ignore it.  The good news is that it’s never too late!

If you would like to get started right now, then click here to order your copy of Living Beyond Your Expectations: Instead of Inside Others’!

This month I will be presenting Workshops in Arcadia, Bakersfield, Brea, and San Jose .  For more information, including dates, times and locations, click here.  

Several of Melissa's articles also appear in regional and national publicaitons! This month, visit www.workingworld.com to see Melissa's articles "Standing Out," and "Education 101."